Last week, I asked you and your partner to talk about what happens when you have sex. Next, I want you to discuss what happens after sex.
What Happens After (and Between) Sex?
When sex is a struggle, you may have more of an aftermath than an afterglow. Sometimes there can be peace and joy when it’s gone well (or if it’s happened at all), but many times you and your partner may end up frustrated, disappointed, sad, confused, or upset. That can then feed your avoidance cycle. Look at what you do after sex is over, both immediately and between sexual encounters:
- After sex, how are you feeling?
- How do you think your partner is feeling?
- What do you both do once it’s over?
- How do you know it’s over?
- How does the cycle of avoidance show up for you two? How do you avoid talking about sex? How do you avoid having sex the next time? Why?
- What exactly is your role in the cycle?
- What will you admit if you are willing to get honest about what you’re doing?