Couples commonly get into a cycle of avoiding sex. It starts when sex starts to feel tense, disappointing, or problematic. Once that happens enough, it can feel fraught – or risky – because you anticipate a “bad” outcome. At that point, it’s natural to start to avoid sex. Avoiding having it, talking about it, or doing anything to change it. The problem is, that increases the pressure on your sex life. Which makes it hard to have sex you feel good about. This is the negative cycle that may have you feeling distant and disconnected from your partner, at least sexually.

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