How Healthy is Your Sex Life?

Free Online Quiz with Detailed Results Sent to Your Inbox

How healthy is your sex life?

See how you score!

This is a 30 question quiz. While not a scientific quiz, it does use what I've learned about healthy sexual relationships in my years of clinical practice as a sex therapist. I have designed it to give you an idea of the state of your intimate relationship, over several criteria. You will get your results and suggestions about how to improve via email, as well as ongoing information and ideas about improving your relationship and creating your best possible sex life.

This quiz is designed for people that are in a sexual relationship and who want to look at the interactions between themselves and one specific partner. If you are in a sexless stage of your relationship and the answers don't already account for that, answer the question based on what sex was like when you had it.

"Sex" refers to any sexual encounter, not just penetrative sex.

Please provide your email address below to receive a detailed copy of your results as well as tips for improvement related to the quiz.

Once you finish the quiz, detailed results will be emailed to you. Providing your email address here will allow you to join my mailing list. But you can opt out by not responding to the confirmation email OR you can unsubscribe at any time later. I hope you stick around, though! The first thing you'll receive is a copy of my top 10 sex tips, followed regularly by other helpful information and ideas to help you improve your sex life. You also get free access to my private, online Q & A webinars.

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Do either of you avoid sex?

Yes, all the time

Frequently

Sometimes

Every once in a while

No, no avoidance, just a yes or a no

1 out of 30

Do you go to bed at the same time?

Yes, all the time

Mostly

Sometimes

Not usually

2 out of 30

How often does it seem that sex ends badly?

All the time / or We never have sex

Frequently

Sometimes

Occasionally

Never, I wouldn't say it's bad no matter what happens

3 out of 30

Is there a sexual problem that hasn't been resolved or accommodated?

Yes, we have an ongoing problem that is messing everything up / We never have sex

Yeah, there's something going on, and it's a roll of the dice every time we have sex

Sometimes it gets in the way

Every once in a while it's an issue

There is no sexual issue OR we've adjusted and moved on

4 out of 30

Do you and your partner talk about sex?

Yes, easily

Yes, basically

Sometimes

Infrequently

5 out of 30

Does one of you suggest sex and the other respond by ignoring it, deflection, or humor?

Yes, all the time / Neither of us ever brings it up

Frequently

Sometimes

Infrequently

6 out of 30

Does one of you just go through the motions in sex?

Yes, and they just lie there/make it clear

Occasionally, but they go along okay

7 out of 30

How often is one of you having sex out of a sense of obligation?

Always

Frequently

Sometimes

Rarely

Never

8 out of 30

Does one person shame, blame or criticize the other about sex?

Yes, all the time

Frequently

Sometimes

Infrequently

Never

9 out of 30

How frequently do you fight about sex?

All the time

Frequently

Sometimes

Infrequently

Never

10 out of 30

Does one of you ever threaten to leave the relationship over sex?

Yes, a lot

Sometimes

Yes, but it's said calmly, not as a threat

We know we have to deal with it to stay together

11 out of 30

How often is one of you doing something sexually they know the other doesn’t like?

Never

Infrequently

Sometimes

Frequently

All the time / We would if we were having sex

12 out of 30

To what degree are you distracted when you have sex?

All the time

Frequently

Sometimes

Every once in a while

I don't

13 out of 30

Are you off in your mind/fantasy during sex?

Not at all

Rarely

Sometimes/just to climax

Pretty regularly

All the time

14 out of 30

Does one of you feel inadequate?

Yes

I don't know

15 out of 30

Do you struggle to relax and be present for sex?

Yes, all the time

Frequently

Sometimes

Every once in a while

16 out of 30

To what degree do you worry that you don’t know what you’re doing?

A lot

Sometimes

I'm learning/open

It's rare to be concerned

Not at all

17 out of 30

Do you generally feel self conscious during sex?

Yes

Somewhat

18 out of 30

Do you ask for what you want in sex?

Rarely

Only subtly

Sometimes

Yes

19 out of 30

Do you know what turns you on?

Yes

Mostly

Somewhat

A little bit

20 out of 30

Do you bring any passion or eroticism to the sex that you're having?

Rarely

Sometimes

Frequently

Always

21 out of 30

Is frequency of sex an issue in your relationship?

Yes

Somewhat

22 out of 30

To what degree is sex with your partner about getting to the finish?

We just get it over with

We're efficient; we take the shortest route

We are not in a hurry

We take scenic detours

The finish isn't the goal; it's a stop along the way

23 out of 30

Does one of you do all the initiating of sex?

Mostly

Yes

24 out of 30

How much energy do you put into making sex and romance interesting – dressing up, buying flowers, sexual surprises, etc?

A lot; we keep it new and interesting

Pretty much; we're invested

Some; sometimes we do new things or make an effort

A little; every once in a while we work at it

None; we're on auto pilot

25 out of 30

How often do you and your partner create the opportunity, on purpose, to be sexual together?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

With regularity

Frequently

26 out of 30

To what degree do you feel exhausted and overwhelmed in your life, to the detriment of your sex life?

We make time, no matter what

It's hit and miss

Constantly

27 out of 30

Is sex at the bottom of the priority list?

Yes

Somewhat

28 out of 30

Do you keep the plans, appointments and dates with your partner that you set?

No/We don't make any

Every once in a while

Sometimes

Usually

Always, barring emergencies

29 out of 30

Have you followed through with agreements to see a doctor or a therapist about any sexual issues?

Yes/we don't have any

Eventually/Sort of

30 out of 30

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