Sex & Intimacy Blog

The Giver/Receiver Exercise

The Giver/Receiver Exercise

My goal with this blog is offer you examples, tools, and insights for improving your sex life. If you have followed my posts for the last couple of months, you have been prompted to have many conversations with your partner about your history and your sex life. You...

How to Play Your Side of the Court

How to Play Your Side of the Court

Last week, I wrote again about playing your own side of the court and offered some ideas about using that premise to deal with issues of desire discrepancy. Now I want to offer a few other examples of how you can play your side of the court in working through issues...

What’s on your side of the court?

What’s on your side of the court?

Over the last several weeks, I have tried to help you and your partner shed some light on your sexual struggles. I asked you to reflect on your personal histories and how your experiences with sex, love, conflict, and support have shaped the way you approach your...

What happens after sex?

What happens after sex?

Last week, I asked you and your partner to talk about what happens when you have sex. Next, I want you to discuss what happens after sex. What Happens After (and Between) Sex? When sex is a struggle, you may have more of an aftermath than an afterglow. Sometimes there...

What happens during sex?

What happens during sex?

In this series of blog posts, I am asking you and your partner to examine your patterns around sex. You discussed initiation and how you talk about you sex life. Now let’s look at what happens during sex. What Happens During Sex Itself? Let’s take apart what happens...

Talking about sex

Talking about sex

Last week, I ask you and your partner to begin discussing your patterns around sex. Next, let’s address how you both communicate about sex at this point in your relationship. How Do You Talk About Sex? It’s probably difficult for the two of you to honestly talk about...

Who initiates sex and how?

Who initiates sex and how?

Over the next few weeks, I am going to ask you and your partner to examine your unique sexual dance – the choreography you go through each time you have, or don’t have, sex. The goal is for you to gain some objective perspective about your patterns so that you are...

You have a unique dance around having sex (or not)

You have a unique dance around having sex (or not)

The goal of my last series of blogs posts has been to help you and your partner uncover what it is about your lives, past and present, that has lead you into the sexual avoidance cycle. Hopefully after working through the topics I’ve presented, you have a better idea...

Gender identity and anatomy impact our sex lives

Gender identity and anatomy impact our sex lives

Issues of identity are often at play in our sex lives. Discovering yourself through your sexuality can be joyful and exciting, but you may also avoid sex if it raises identity questions that you don’t have answers to. Gender identity may be a cause of your difficulty...

Negative thinking – how body image issues get in your way

Negative thinking – how body image issues get in your way

There are many reasons couples avoid sex. One common one is because one or both partners is uncomfortable with their body. Sex is a physical act, and it is easy for body issues to get in the way of a satisfying sex life. Let’s look at a few of these in a little more...

Physical changes can affect your sex life

Physical changes can affect your sex life

Along with issues of performance and loss, issues related to changes in our bodies and lives are common sources of sexual avoidance. Let’s examine a few of them. Issues Due to Aging As you get older, your body changes. You know this, but it will probably still...

Are relationship issues messng with your sex life?

Are relationship issues messng with your sex life?

Last week, I discussed how loss can cause couples to avoid sex. There are many relationship issues that may also be at the root of your avoidance cycle. Let’s look at a few. Relationship Issues If you have problems in your relationship, eventually that’s going to show...

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