Sex & Intimacy Blog
What if I don’t have spontaneous desire for sex?
It's a myth that you are supposed to have spontaneous desire for sex. Some people do, but others only feel desire after they've gotten aroused. This "reactive" desire is important! https://youtu.be/flSq1zVKCf8
Don’t get your ideas about sex from porn
Porn is not sex. It's entertainment. And as such, it's not the place to learn about how sex should go. https://youtu.be/kVirNn9edHI
Your expectations are what’s keeping you stuck
We have so many ideas about how sex is supposed to work. The problem is that most of these are unrealistic and unhelpful. In this week's Just the Tip Tuesday, I talk about how to examine your expectations and why you'd want to. https://youtu.be/1AYrQpiVFsA
Are you stuck in an avoidance cycle?
So many couples end up avoiding sex. They get caught in a loop of disappointment, avoidance, and pressure. https://youtu.be/_bXDrs4LPk8
How it feels to struggle
When sex is working, it feels pretty important. When it isn't, it feels huge! https://youtu.be/rRCwqWo7Z3k
Why it is so powerful to work on your sex life
Couples come to me after marriage counseling and have made great strides in dealing with many issues. Except their sex life hasn't improved. What may be surprising is that it works way better in reverse! If you take on what needs to change to transform your sex life,...
Playing your side of the court
It's important to work as a team on your issues, but it's also important to focus on your own part! Confront yourself first, focus on you, and yet collaborate. https://youtu.be/0Ohwd4F4FuA
Sexual Avoidance Cycle – Just the Tip Tuesday
Couples commonly get into a cycle of avoiding sex. It starts when sex starts to feel tense, disappointing, or problematic. Once that happens enough, it can feel fraught - or risky - because you anticipate a "bad" outcome. At that point, it's natural to start to avoid...
You are not broken
Sexual struggles are common and normal. There are so many good reasons for people to have issues, and it does not mean you are broken (or your relationship is broken), if you do! https://youtu.be/Qo-CvsnSJ7w
Will An Emotional Affair Kill Your Relationship?
Originally written for Mind Body Green -https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/will-emotional-affair-kill-your-relationship Infidelity, dishonesty, cheating, secrecy, affairs—these are all words that describe potential death blows to your relationship. While you may...
Talking to your partner about sexual concerns
Sometimes bringing up our concerns is the hardest part of solving them. I have suggestions to make this easier - how to prepare for the conversations, how to approach your partner, and how to talk about sex in a way that's supportive and constructive....
Sexual Satisfaction Scale
This new tool is a great way to talk to your partner about what you each value in sex. You spend time identifying what makes your sex life the most satisfying (and the least), examine the themes that are relevant to you, and then discuss with your partner. This may...