In my latest series of blog posts, I have discussed several common sexual myths. These myths often prevent us from fully enjoying our sex lives because we are left thinking that what we have, or what we want, isn’t “right.” This feeling of wanting something we shouldn’t is especially common when it comes to masturbation. Let’s look at a common myth surrounding masturbation.

It’s not okay to masturbate if you’re in a relationship

Apples and oranges. A lot of people with great sexual relationships still masturbate. First, in every relationship, one partner will be more interest in sex than the other, and solo sex is a great outlet for that extra sexual energy. Second, solo play is a different experience. It’s less complicated. Sex with a partner involves teamwork, consideration of the experience for both people, more time, and more energy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a sexual experience with yourself, whether it’s a quick, simple release or an extended, luxurious session of self-pleasure.

However, if you aren’t in a good sexual relationship, as I suppose may be the case for some of you, you may be using masturbation to avoid your sexual issues. It’s not that you shouldn’t masturbate, but you shouldn’t escape into your own experience at the expense of putting effort into your sex life with your partner. Ask yourself whether you are taking care of yourself so that you don’t have to speak up to your partner about the state of your sex life. Pay attention to whether you avoid opportunities to connect with them sexually and then retreat into solo sex.

Masturbation is a normal and healthy sexual activity. It can be a fun component of your sex life with a partner, or something entirely separate just for you. As long as you are not using masturbation to avoid addressing other sexual difficulties with your partner, there is no reason to feel that it is incompatible with a great sex life.

You might also enjoy: 

When sex is disappointing

Your expectations are the problem

 Sexual myths spawn unrealistic expectations

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