Seattle Sex Therapist for Couples

Contact me for my mailing address if needed.

Make Sex Easy & Fun For Both of You

This free training helps otherwise happy couples who struggle with desire discrepancy. Learn exactly why you feel so stuck and what you can do to make sex something you can both look forward to.

Touchy Feely Cards

I’ve finally created the tool that I’ve imagined for over a decade as a tool for couples to:

  • Explore physical touch in a playful way
  • Discover touch that you like to give and receive
  • Collaborate in creating pleasure without pressure

I am conducting all session remotely.

I am Seattle sex therapist, but I can work with anyone who lives in Washington. Ever since COVID forced us all into remote work, I have seen clients via a HIPAA compliant account with Zoom. The ease and flexibility make it an easy choice to continue to only see clients virtually. I do not plan to return to my office at this point.

Remote sessions are easy and convenient.

All you need is internet access and a camera, so you can attend using a computer or a smart phone. My meeting room has a waiting room, so it’s secure. You and your partner can be together or dial in apart.

Helping You Create Your Best Relationship

Unlock Your Full Potential in Sex Therapy.

When your intimate life suffers, your whole life suffers. Whatever it is that you are missing, or concerned about, can cast a dark shadow on what otherwise might be a wonderful relationship.

I help couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it’s become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

I have the skills and experience to help you figure out how to improve your relationship and your sex life.  Together, we’ll work to create the changes — both emotional and physical — you need in order to add pleasure, joy, and intimacy to your relationship.

Don’t continue to struggle on your own.  Let me help!

Extensive training in couples therapy

 

AASECT certification as a sex therapist

 

Focused exclusively on helping couples with sex and intimacy

 

Author of "Sex Without Stress" and host of the Better Sex Podcast

 

Couples’ Sex Therapy and Counseling

  • Are you feeling sad or lonely in your relationship because your sex life is so bad?
  • Has your body changed in the way it responds during sex?
  • Is your sex life being affected by aging, disease or disability?
  • Is sex painful, anxious or disappointing?
  • Has your disappointing sex life become the elephant in the room?
  • Have you become only really good roommates or co-parents?
  • Are you lonely in your relationship?

 

 

I help couples who are struggling with sex and intimacy – for any number of reasons.

Perhaps one of you has some sort of sexual dysfunction (trouble with arousal, orgasm, pain, etc).

Maybe your differences in level of desire are creating feelings of rejection, frustration, inadequacy, or guilt.

Maybe one of you is struggling to want sex at all.

Any maybe it’s hard for the two of you to talk about what’s going on (and what’s NOT going on) in a way that’s constructive and friendly. Or maybe you avoid the topic entirely.

I can help you create a sex life that is actually easy and fun for both of you. Let’s get rid of the pressure and any feeling of obligation that clouds your sex life.

Available Now

The Touchy Feely™ Cards

A card game to help couples explore touch and intimacy

As a certified sex therapist, I understand how challenging it can be for couples to navigate the complex landscape of intimacy. My goal is to help people find their desire for intimacy and to explore what they actually want. Originally developed to facilitate an exercise in my Intimacy With Ease™ program, our Touchy Feely™ Cards not only take the pressure off but also add a little bit of fun and giggles along the way!

Touchy Feely™ Cards are specifically designed to help couples deepen their connection through the exploration of touch and sensation. The best part is that couples get to tailor their experience to fit their unique desires and needs, allowing you to explore intimacy at your own pace and decide for yourselves the types of touch and sensation you most enjoy. Rather than tell you what to do or suggest activities that may or may not interest you, the deck is designed to allow you to explore what you actually like.

Our cards are designed to inspire and encourage creative expression of physical touch and sensation. Each card features a different touch or sensation prompt, making it a playful and exciting way to try new things. With the flexibility to mix and match cards, you can build a customized experience that is special and unique to your relationship, your preferences, and your body. We have several suggested ways to play with the cards, and the deck is flexible enough for you to create your own versions. Feel free to let us know what you come up with!

Touchy Feely Cards Box
layout of touchy feely cards
Seattle Sex Therapist's book Sex Without Stress

By Jessa zimmerman

Dealing With Desire Discrepancy?

5 Steps to Making Intimacy Less Stressful

Isn’t sex supposed to be easy?

Do sexual problems mean I’m in the wrong relationship?

How do we get to the point where sex is fun again?

Am I broken? Is there any hope?

This book takes on the heart-wrenching questions that naturally arise when couples are struggling with sexual desire differences. Once sex becomes synonymous with disappointment, avoidance sets in and creates pressure in the bedroom. In this straightforward and practical book, Zimmerman guides us to understand the cycle that develops when sex is difficult, to shift our mindset when it comes to sexual intimacy, and to transform our sexual experience with our partner using a nine-phase experiential process.

FREE RESOURCES

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Make Sex Easy & Fun For Both of You

This free masterclass helps you take the stress out of sex so it’ll never feel like a chore.

Better Sex Podcast

A weekly podcast that covers a range of topics that can help you improve your sex life.

Daily Conversation Starters

Get a daily text message with a question you and your partner can discuss to build intimacy sent to your inbox.

l

Online Sex Quiz

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Find out by taking this free quiz, and get helpful suggestions for improvement.

What do we need to know about you as a Seattle Sex Therapist?

You have a lot of choices when you are searching for a Seattle sex therapist. Finding a good fit is important. While you want to make sure that any therapist is licensed in the state and is qualified to help you, you’ll also want to consider their vision of relationship health and their approach to working with clients. If you still have any questions after reading through my website, I would be happy to answer them!

1. Do you specialize in working with couples?

Yes, I specialize in couples therapy. Unlike many therapists who do “a little of everything,” my practice is exclusively devoted to working with couples, especially regarding issues of sexuality and intimacy.

I have pursued extensive training, completing an intensive externship in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, PACT couples therapy,  as well as several multi-day clinical workshops in Crucible Therapy with David Schnarch and Ruth Morehouse.

Because I am also an AASECT certified sex therapist, I can integrate sex therapy and couples therapy creating an holistic approach to intimacy issues.

2. I see you are AASECT certified. Why is that important?
Certification is important because it signifies a significant amount of training, supervision and experience dealing with sexual issues.

AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) requires over 160 hours of rigorous curriculum, 50 hours of supervision and hundreds of hours of clinical experience in order to grant certification.

While Washington state does not regulate the term “sex therapist,” certification distinguishes a therapist who has made the commitment to be fully qualified to provide sex therapy.

3. What kind of people get the most out of choosing you as a therapist?
The people that I help the most come to me knowing that they cannot keep doing things the same way anymore.

They are open to self-reflection, they have an ability to confront themselves and to be honest about what they are doing, and they have a real desire for growth and integrity in their lives.

They focus on their own contribution to their issues and resist the urge to blame others.

They value honest feedback and directness delivered with good will.

They are ready to make the commitment of time and resources that change requires, and they are determined to make the most out of that investment by being committed to and engaged in the process and expecting me to bring my best to every session.

4. If you are working with a couple, do you ever see the people individually?

No. Couples work is always done together. The process is something you share and experience in my office. 

This policy maintains a balanced relationship with both people. It also serves to prevent me from having any information that has not been shared with the absent partner.

5. How long does therapy last?

So much depends on exactly what situation a client faces and how much they want to accomplish at this time. While some people come in for a very particular question or decision (resulting in very brief therapy), others come in determined to shift many longstanding issues (which can mean remaining in therapy for a year or more). Most of the time, however, I work with clients for somewhere between 3 and 6 months to accomplish their goals.

6. Does insurance cover couples' counseling?

If your insurance company tells you that they do indeed cover couples therapy, they are referring to the situation where one person’s mental illness is what is being treated in therapy, and the partner is only present in support of the treatment of that condition. Insurance only pays for “medically necessary treatment” of a mental health disorder, such as Major Depressive Disorder or Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

In this situation, one person, the “identified patient,” is officially diagnosed with a mental illness, and the treatment needs to focus solely on this diagnosis. This diagnosis is sent to the insurance company where it becomes part of the patient’s permanent medical record. Also, only the identified patient is technically a client, and thus has a right to a duty of care, confidentiality, and access to the session notes. The other partner is not a client and would be there only in support and as “collateral” to the treatment of the patient’s condition.

But in couples counseling, people are seeking help with communication, conflict, emotional connection, sexual intimacy, parenting, and more. These issues are not for “medically necessary” treatment of a mental illness. Both people are the focus of treatment, as is the couple as a unit. Billing insurance as if the couples’ sessions are treating just one individual is considered insurance fraud.

Interested in the online course?

Feel totally close, connected, and secure in your otherwise happy relationship.

Intimacy With Ease™ is a private online program that teaches and supports you to take the stress out of your sex life so that you can feel totally close, connected, and secure with your partner.

An online course based on my book, this intimacy course is designed to support couples through a process of transforming their sex lives through webinar teaching and structured at home activities and exercises that they can do alone and with their partner.

About Me

I am a Seattle sex therapist who helps couples who long to share a great sex life with their partner, but who find themselves feeling distant, disconnected, anxious or at odds about sex instead.

 

I guide people through a process to understand their own needs and desires in relationship, as well their individual contribution to the problems, so that they can make their sex life as good as the rest of their relationship. I know from my years in practice focused on couples & sex that no matter how stuck you might feel right now, sex can be a joy instead of the elephant in the room. I believe that strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships make the world a better place.

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