Couples and Sex Therapist

Helping Couples Create Their Best Relationship

Take the Free Quiz

How healthy is your sex life? Take this free online quiz to rate your intimate life across 5 important aspects of a healthy sex life and then be send specific suggestions for improvement straight to your inbox.

Sex Without Stress™

My new book, Sex Without Stress, walks you through a process to understand why you’re struggling with sex, how to talk about what’s happening, and how to move through a 9 phase program to transform your sex life.



Free Training: How to Escape the Sexual Avoidance Cycle

  • Discover the most common pitfalls that send you into a cycle of sexual avoidance. (If you focus on these traps, you can completely change how you interact around intimacy.)
  • Learn the three phases of sexual avoidance – and how you can escape the vicious cycle that keeps you disconnected from your partner.
  • See how to easily create an alliance so you can work as a team to make your intimate life engaging for you both (and improve your relationship in the process).
  • Get a free copy of the “How to Talk to Your Partner about Your Sexual Concerns”
  • Get a chance to ask questions during our live Q&A session.


Helping You Create Your Best Relationship

Unlock Your Full Potential.

When your intimate life suffers, your whole life suffers. Whatever it is that you are missing, or concerned about, can cast a dark shadow on what otherwise might be a wonderful relationship.

I help couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it’s become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

I have the skills and experience to help you figure out how to improve your relationship and your sex life.  Together, we’ll work to create the changes — both emotional and physical — you need in order to add pleasure, joy, and intimacy to your relationship.

Don’t continue to struggle on your own.  Let me help!

Extensive training in couples therapy


AASECT certification as a sex therapist


Focused exclusively on helping couples with sex and intimacy


Author of "Sex Without Stress" and host of the Better Sex Podcast


Sex Therapy


Are you feeling sad or lonely in your relationship because your sex life is so bad?

Has your body changed in the way it responds during sex?

Is your sex life being affected by aging, disease or disability?

Is sex painful, anxious or disappointing?

Have you suffered sexual abuse in your past that blocks your ability to enjoy sex now?

Do you question your own sexual behaviors or preferences?


Couples Counseling


Has your disappointing sex life become the elephant in the room?

Have you become only really good roommates or co-parents?

Do you struggle to resolve your issues in a lasting and meaningful way?

Do you and your partner avoid sensitive topics?

Are you lonely in your relationship?

Do you wonder if this relationship was a big mistake?





Free online Q&A sessions for members of my mailing list community.

Better Sex Podcast

A weekly podcast that covers a range of topics that can help you improve your sex life.

Sex & Intimacy Blog

Weekly posts to inspire and inform you in your quest for a satisfying intimate relationship.

Online Sex Quiz

How Healthy is Your Sex Life? Find out by taking this free quiz, and get helpful suggestions for improvement.

What do we need to know?

You have a lot of choices when you are searching for a therapist. Finding a good fit is important. While you want to make sure that any therapist is licensed in the state and is qualified to help you, you’ll also want to consider their vision of relationship health and their approach to working with clients. If you still have any questions after reading through my website, I would be happy to answer them!

1. Do you specialize in working with couples?
Yes, I specialize in couples therapy. Unlike many therapists who do “a little of everything,” my practice is almost exclusively devoted to working with couples, especially regarding issues of sexuality and intimacy.

I have pursued extensive training, completing an intensive externship in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy as well as several multi-day clinical workshops in Crucible Therapy with David Schnarch and Ruth Morehouse.

Because I am also an AASECT certified sex therapist, I can integrate sex therapy and couples therapy creating an holistic approach to intimacy issues.

2. I see you are AASECT certified. Why is that important?
Certification is important because it signifies a significant amount of training, supervision and experience dealing with sexual issues.

AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) requires over 160 hours of rigorous curriculum, 50 hours of supervision and hundreds of hours of clinical experience in order to grant certification.

While Washington state does not regulate the term “sex therapist,” certification distinguishes a therapist who has made the commitment to be fully qualified to provide sex therapy.

3. What kind of people get the most out of choosing you as a therapist?
The people that I help the most come to me knowing that they cannot keep doing things the same way anymore.

They are open to self-reflection, they have an ability to confront themselves and to be honest about what they are doing, and they have a real desire for growth and integrity in their lives.

They focus on their own contribution to their issues and resist the urge to blame others.

They value honest feedback and directness delivered with good will.

They are ready to make the commitment of time and resources that change requires, and they are determined to make the most out of that investment by being committed to and engaged in the process and expecting me to bring my best to every session.

4. If you are working with a couple, do you ever see the people individually?

No. Couples work is always done together. The process is something you share and experience in my office. 

This policy maintains a balanced relationship with both people. It also serves to prevent me from having any information that has not been shared with the absent partner.

5. How long does therapy last?
So much depends on exactly what situation a client faces and how much they want to accomplish at this time. While some people come in for a very particular question or decision (resulting in very brief therapy), others come in determined to shift many longstanding issues (which can mean remaining in therapy for a year or more). Most of the time, however, I work with clients for somewhere between 3 and 6 months to accomplish their goals.

By Jessa zimmerman

Sex Without Stress™

A couple’s guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance, and pressure

Isn’t sex supposed to be easy?

Do sexual problems mean I’m in the wrong relationship?

How do we get to the point where sex is fun again?

Am I broken? Is there any hope?

This book takes on the heart-wrenching questions that naturally arise when couples are struggling with sex. Once sex becomes synonymous with disappointment, avoidance sets in and creates pressure in the bedroom. In this straightforward and practical book, Zimmerman guides us to understand the cycle that develops when sex is difficult, to shift our mindset when it comes to sexual intimacy, and to transform our sexual experience with our partner using a nine-phase experiential process.

Interested in the online course?

next session starts in early 2020.

Yes, please.

The Sex Without Stress™ course offers support as you work through the process.

A 10 week course based on my new book, this intimacy course is designed to support couples through a process of transforming their sex lives through webinar teaching, structured at home conversations and exercises, and live online office hours for questions and input.

About Me

I help people who long to share a great sex life with their partner, but who find themselves feeling distant, disconnected, anxious or at odds about sex instead.


I guide people through a process to understand their own needs and desires in relationship, as well their individual contribution to the problems, so that they can make their sex life as good as the rest of their relationship. I know from my years in practice focused on couples & sex that no matter how stuck you might feel right now, sex can be a joy instead of the elephant in the room. I believe that strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships make the world a better place.

Featured Article:

How to grow up: 

The road map for becoming an authentic adult is also a blueprint for putting passion back in relationships.

“Becoming an authentic adult means going against the whole drift of the culture. It specifically means, among other things, soothing your own bad feelings without the help of another, pursuing your own goals, and standing on your own two feet. Most people associate such skills with singlehood. But Schnarch finds that marriage can’t succeed unless we claim our sense of self in the presence of another. The resulting growth turns right around and fuels the marriage, enabling passionate sex. And it pays wide-ranging dividends in domains from friendship to creativity to work.”

-Pam Weintraub, Psychology Today

Increase the fulfillment in your relationship!

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